i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
