my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
