Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
