i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
