i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
