WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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