11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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