I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
