i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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