How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
