My sheets look like a crime scene.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
