just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
