dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
