you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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