If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
