he thought i was a dude.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
it's like iHOP with fire
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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