I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize