Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
