So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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