what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
