dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
