More tranny stories later!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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