When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
