I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
