so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
