When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
