my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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