I heard we made out
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
