**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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