If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
