another moral hangover. fuck.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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