im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
then he tried to convert me to islam
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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