He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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