you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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