My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
