We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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