Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So apparently I’m into choking now
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
