used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
