Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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