He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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