so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
