We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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