I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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