There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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