Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....

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(720): View more from Colorado

Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.

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(915): View more from Texas

You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.

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(314): View more from Missouri

He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.

(636): View more from Missouri

Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail

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(323): View more from California

Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips

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