i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
