So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
