This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
