I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
