My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
