I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
