you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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