Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
