So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
