she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
