I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
