how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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