Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
