I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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