He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
