i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
