We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
