I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
