the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
