Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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