My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
