I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
