Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
