dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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