I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
