You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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